The last entry I wrote was a very angry one. Very angry indeed. It had to do with hospitals and bureaucracy. I decided not to post it because hospitals and bureaucracy are no-one’s favourite talking points. Except the Minister for Hospitals and Bureaucracy, and even then only during working hours.
So…it’s almost Christmas. This makes me very happy for as people may or may not know, I love Christmas. Really, I love Christmas. There seems to be an atmosphere in the air roundabout Christmastime, an atmosphere that tells us to forget all the bad stuff, look! Fairy lights! It’s like getting a great big hug for 4 weeks, only less awkward. It’s great.
However, I still have a deep down feeling that putting up Christmas decorations or listening to Christmas songs before December is…wrong. Sacrilegious almost. We tried it, Hannah and me, this weekend. I had once again gotten all excited that Christmas was just around the corner and I had gotten a craving for mince pies (eating Christmassy things outside of December is perfectly natural). So, with a conspicuous lack of any cowless mince, we decided to make our own. We asked Delia, for she always seems to know what to do. Via the magic telephonyjigger of the intraweb, Delia told us how to make the festive pie filling we desired. So, we bought the ingredients and went about making the mince.
My laptop and it’s endless library of hearty songs was but metres away from the newly Christened “Cookorama” section of my lowly apartment, so I thought it’d set the mood nicely if we listened to some festive tunes. I loaded up “The Best Christmas Album in the World…Ever!”, skipping the “traditional” CD and booting up Elton John stepping into Christmas.
It felt wrong. I must admit I felt violated. There we were, November the 18th, listening to modern Christmas songs. I felt as if I’d raided the stable, lifted the infant Christ from his manger and slapped him about the face with a copy of Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Christmas.” So, we turned it off and settled for some more generic tunes. And lo, it was good.
Unfortunately we didn’t have any brandy for the mince so we used Japanese shochu. It looks a bit runny too. I’m hoping that it’ll look nicer after the one week standing time Delia commanded us to allow. Don’t fail me Delia.
I’m also considering Christmas decorations. Last year I did my best, and turned my living room into a little grotto. This year I am determined to outdo last year’s effort and this will probably involve buying more fairy lights and various other tat. Among the items under consideration are a life-size dancing Santa whose cold, lifeless eyes stare into the void as the swollen body below gyrates mechanically to a terrible rendition of “Jingle Bells” emanating from its groin; an inflatable snowglobe that’s approximately 6 foot high by 4 foot wide and quiet big enough to fit two fully grown adults in it’s glorious plastic tableau, and a statue of Rudolph made entirely of neon. Truly, I am blessed with choice.
Finally there’s the China holiday. I’m perhaps looking forward to this the most. Since the final year of Uni, me and Hannah have been plotting to go away somewhere together but unfortunately nothing has ever materialised. Now however, our deposits are paid, most of our flights are booked and there’s only the accommodation and visas to sort out. Apparently it’s going to be about –7 in Beijing so at least we won’t feel cold when we return.
No comments:
Post a Comment