Sunday, May 22, 2005

Sith

Well, it's a bit late, but here's my Revenge of the Sith impressions. Firstly, I would like to distance myself from the frankly awful Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Disgusting. Thankfully, RoTS does too. Well, mostly.

The good: the film.
The bad: the nerds sat next to us laughing at Yoda. "Yeah man, he's green and like, talks funny." Fuck off and die.

Anyway, it was good. In the sense that I got to explore my homoerotic side by looking at Hayden Christiansen and getting a stiffy. Mmm.



I would give it 7 noses out of 5.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Japan

I have got my placement through for Japan, the position of which I will illustrate on this helpful map from my archives:



As you can see, I am about as far from my first choice of Yokohama as they can get me. I now have another theory behind why I was chosen for the JET programme; they hate me. They hate me so much they want to throw me to the primatives and have them rip me limb from limb before eating my heart, lungs and testicles with what can only be described as tribal sporks.

Oh well, at least I got on the programme at all. For that I am grateful. Yes.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

"E3 conferences 'a bit shit' shocker!"

This is copied directly from an email I sent to Gary (him down there):

"If I were to rank the conferences on quality of presentation, they'd look a bit like this:

1) Sony
2) Nintendo
3) Microsoft

Sony's conference was no nonsense. These are the specs, this is what it can do, these are some game trailers, this is the console. The specs stuff was dull however, and most of the game trailers were almost definately not ingame (the amazing Killzone 2 demo being highest on that list)

Nintendo had the advantage of Reggie but an awful DJ set using the DS (padding?) and baby-talking woman Tina (whining into Nintendogs) spolit it.

Microsoft's presentation was awful. "Yo yo yo, dis is da future of da gaming zen. 1 billion users on Live by tomorrow! Yeah!" It actually sounded like they hired people to whoop whenever J Allard spoke. Some excruciating "comedy" (including a be-wigged 360 faceplate for the bald Peter Moore before his presentation, hilarious) topped it off. Awful.

For content however:

1)Sony
2)Microsoft
3)Nintendo

Same reasons as above, but Sony and MS at least showed some next gen games, even if they were prerendered. Nintendo spent almost the entire conference on DS games everyone has seen before and talking about online functions (which, fair enough, is what they said they'd do). The Revolution showing was a joke, obviously only meant to appease the fans. Plus it looked like an Alba DVD player.

I know Nintendo had no intentions of showing the Revolution and they let us know this well before the conference but still, the conference was mainly talk with no substance, the worse of the three overall in my opinion. MS's one was a joke presentation wise but the online stuff was quite interesting. Sony's was rather blandly presented, but the hard stuff was there, the stuff the fans wanted to see."

How exciting.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Over....nearly

I didn't want this blog to be a "ow ma gawd, ma liife's awl messed ap!" blog, but more of a "What what what?" effort. Unfortunately I feel compelled to type about my workload. It is horrendous. I doubt Winston Churcill, when he saw in the distance the fleet of German bombers and foighters rapidly approching our little isle, felt as daunted as I did when confronted with 4, count them, 4 3000 word essays. One of them involved King Arthur. The others did not.

However, I am now rapidly approaching the End Game. With two of these gargantuan scriptures out of the way, and another halfway through, I feel I am able to speak about the tortures my mind has been through. Oh god, the tortures.

Seriously though, it's been a hard slog. Almost done now though. Anyway, here's another picture from my archives. I am not in it.


This is my housemate Jon. He is sleeping