I usually wake up at about 7.30 to be confronted with this. I made sure the camera didn’t catch most of the floor as I don’t want my mother to have a heart attack. Anyway, I usually check my emails in a bleary eyed way before forgetting to get ready and rushing about at the last minute. Interesting fact: there is a huge tapir just out of shot. His name is Marilyn.
This is my personal Life Support System. If I could have it fixed up intravenously I would. It’s also my clock; by the time the jug is full I know I’m probably 5 minutes late for work. Interesting fact; I stole that fridge from a tramp.
And this is how I get to work. A tragic waste of money spent on petrol, as my school is only a 15 minute walk away but I paid good money for Sally here and I may as well get my yen’s worth. Not sure why this picture is so foggy, it’s actually rather sunny today. Interesting fact: the yellow square on the floor is a designated spot for gay flogging.
My school. The first view I get of it as I arrive. It looks pretty rubbish here and again I don’t know why it looks so miserable. My amazing camera skills perhaps. Interesting fact: the bike shed pictured is made out of moles.
My desk. About as tidy as my apartment. That Tropicana bottle has been there for several months and I can’t even remember when I brought that thermo-flask thing in. Notice the stack of books on the left and realise that this is what I do for 85% of my time. Interesting fact: my desk has a border signifying it as British territory.
The staff room, or my view of it anyway. See? I’m not the only one with a messy desk. Interesting fact, there were 6 teachers in shot, but none of them came out in the photo. Spooky.
And this is what I plan to do with my summer. My Japanese is still pretty bad. I can understand a lot of what’s said, but actually constructing my own sentences is another thing. I thought the title was rather ironic so there’s the comedy aspect too. Interesting fact; most Japanese people learn Japanese from this book.
The inside. This is the main section of the staffroom block. I don’t actually do any teaching here as all the classrooms are either science, music or computer based. Interesting fact, a Shinto curse means the ghosts of naughty tapir regularly wander between the seating areas.
That’s better. The view of the second building from one of the connecting bridges. Interesting fact, pixies live in that tree, emerging only to hurl books and expletives at me.
The front of school. The 1st floor is the staff room and the ground floor is the school office. Doesn’t get much more exciting that that! Oh, and there’re palm trees too. Two of them. Interesting fact; there are no monkeys in this picture.
Ah, my labour of love. This is my rather pathetic World Cup English display looking forlorn and welting in the heat. Notice my amazing art skills that make the display difficult to read even for a native speaker. Also notice the large amounts of Japanese written by an English teacher so that the students knew what the hell I was on about. To be fair to myself, most of it has either fallen off or been taken down by this point but part of me just can’t bear to throw the rest of it away. Interesting fact; one student scrawled “Piss off home” across my first attempt.
Ah, teachers. I fooled them into posing for this by telling them I was dying, that’s why they look so happy. The one on the right is Kudo-sensei, my tantousha (supervisor) and the one on the left is, well I’m not entirely sure. I will call him Phillip. Hello Phillip! Interesting fact; Phillip is performing the ancient Japanese hand signal known as Ryoshomon. It indicates that this particular person hates Winston Churcill.
Half an hour into the day the laptop’s out and I’m playing Sonic 2 with the sound off. Interesting fact: Sonic 2 is regarded by many as the best English teaching tool ever created.
Two hours in and I’m watching hardcore porn with the sound on. I’ve pixellated the movie for those with sensitive dispositions. Interesting fact: I was once told to turn the sound up as the geography teacher couldn’t hear it.
Today, I read this book quite a lot. Lord knows how many times I’ve actually finished it, but it’s probably a few too many. It really is one of my favourite books of recent years, and I have no idea why. It reminds me of 6th Form College but by all accounts that should not be a good thing. Interesting fact; during 6th Form College I aged 4 times faster than normal. I am now 28.
This is how bored I am by 3.20pm; I made a calendar collage. As you can see, I have much more penned in for August than July. Most of those are holidays though. Interesting fact; the JET calendar is not given, but must be won in a gladiatorial arena type event.
This is the ceiling above my desk. I get paid quite a lot of money to stare at this spot for hours every day. Interesting fact; strip lighting was invented by the band Men Without Hats.
My desk has got progressively messier over the course of the day. I’m too bored to do anything about it at this point. Interesting fact: mumblemumble zzzzzzzzzzz…
This is the blurred picture of my foot my camera took as it fell from my unconscious fingers. Interesting fact; I was asleep for three hours.
All in all, one of my more eventfull days.
1 comment:
I cannot remember a time before reading this entry. Thoroughly amusing and illuminating. Interesting fact; I dreamt I visited you in Japan, and upon arrival, we celebrated by jumping into a pool. In our orange boiler suits.
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